Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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