just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
