He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
