I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
