My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize