My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize
