Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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