I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize