so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So vagazzling was a success
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
