Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Me too!
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
