sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
