She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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