So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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