At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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