haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
