Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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