there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
