Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
