Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
