Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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