The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you will always have a special place in my vag
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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