woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
