i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
