Already got asked if we're dating
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
