hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
so explain again why im purple
no
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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