once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
