what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
