New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
