First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
