Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize