Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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