can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
