Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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