just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
