lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
