Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
