He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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