so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
