Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
