I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
