saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
