it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
our cab driver is having phone sex.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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