Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
