Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
