Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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