Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
