I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
