i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
