We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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