I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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