just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
