sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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