I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
