am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
