Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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