Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize