I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
