Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
