Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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