You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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