Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
