chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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