it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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