Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
