I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Randomize
