Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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