What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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